Due to the recent passing of celebrities like Gary “whatcha” Coleman and the slutty one from Golden Girls, we here at the Lowbrow Sophisticate find it cathartic to enhance the mourning process with inventive new terms to describe the journey our loved ones take when traveling to hell.

So if you’ve lost someone close to you, perhaps using these terms will soften the blow of reality:

Failed the Bar

Fell Off the branch

Fell to Pieces

Filled his Prescription

Finally Calmed Down

Finished their Book

Flew North

Flooded the Engine

Flyin’ First Class

Got it to go

Going the way of VHS

Got a divorce without paperwork

Got Called Up to the Majors

Got his Report Card

Got Sent to the Minors

Got Stiff in the Wrong Places

Got the Promotion He Deserved

Gritting His Teeth

Holding the Phone

Howled at the Moon

Jumped to the credits

Launched the Yacht

Layin’ Low

Leaving your coat on the rack

Left for Palestine

Left w/out Tipping

Locked the Hatchback

Lost some Weight

Lost His Footing

Lost His Pogs

Tags: Death and Dying, Funeral, Gary Coleman, golden girls, Pogs

This entry was posted on Friday, June 25th, 2010 at 10:26 am and is filed under Sophisticaty Things, Various Sundries. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.