Watch for these new films by Lowbrow Productions coming out between August 2010 and Floptobuary 2033

Turning Tricks: The heartwarming story of a 17 year old prostitute who finally cleans up her act and becomes a successful magician!

Number One & Number Two: The unlikely romantic tale of two Olympic long jumpers who were once rivals (placing first and second in their event) but are now lovers with a particular penchant for golden showers and scat.

Ghoul!!!  The story of a grotesque and destructive supernatural being who falls in love with the game of soccer, ultimately scoring the winning goal at the Word Cup.

Hole in Juan:  When golf enthusiast Juan realizes he’s a woman trapped in a man’s body he has the doctors turn his club into a hole.

And dont forget to check out our new television show coming to ABC in the new fall line up:

She’s in the city, She’s Single, She’s Young, Pretty AND a Lawyer … she’s PROSECUTEY! Thursdays at 1am.

This day in History – 4/6/2010

1830 – The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was organized by
Joseph Smith when he was visited by God and Jesus Christ who
told him where to find a part of the bible that had been left out,
written on gold plates. But don’t worry, it’s not as crazy as it
sounds, you see, angels told him how to translate the text using a
special language that only he and the angles could understand.

1862 – The Battle of Shiloh in the American Civil War began – giving
inspiration to hippie parents everywhere to name their sons one of
the stupidest names ever.

1875 – Alexander Graham Bell was granted a patent for the multiple
telegraph, which sent two signals at the same time. Bell called it his
DP Telegraph.

1896 – The Olympic Games, a long-lost tradition of ancient Greece, are
reborn in Athens 1,500 years after being banned by Roman
Emperor Theodosius I after the participants wanted to wear clothes.
At the opening of the Athens Games, King Georgios I of Greece and
a crowd of 60,000 spectators welcomed athletes from 13 nations to
the international competition beginning a long tradition of Indian
losers.

1916 – Charlie Chaplin became the highest-paid film star in the world
when he signed a contract with Mutual Film Corporation for
$675,000 a year. He was 26 years old. It is said that when he
discovered his salary he said,

1953 – Iranian Premier Mossadegh demanded that the shah’s power be
reduced. “Shah right,” they replied.

1983 – Interior Secretary James Watt banned the Beach Boys from the 4th of
July celebration on the Washington Mall, saying rock ‘n’ roll bands
attract the “wrong element.” Watt was worried that this “wrong
element” would be a bad influence on the racists, bigots and
homophobes that encompass the Republican Party.

1985 – William J. Schroeder became the first artificial heart recipient to be
discharged from the hospital. He died in the parking lot.

1998 – The Dow Jones industrial average closed above 9,000 points for the
first time. It could only go up from here!

1999 – Carmen Electra filed for a divorce from Dennis Rodman. They had
only been married six months. Court documents revealed that
Rodman wanted out because Electra wouldn’t share her gowns with
him. Also, her penis was bigger than his.

2009 – Michael Jordan was elected to the basketball Hall of Fame for
cheating on his wife with more women than any other professional
basketball player.

The search continues for actor Andrew Koenig who was last seen in Vancouver days ago and has not been heard from since.  Koenig is best/only known for his portrayl of Boner on the show “Growing Pains.”  Police are searching for Boner in Vancouver, Los Angeles, and in pants.

U.S. Olympic snowboarder and presumed pot-enthusiast Shaun White told reporters recently that “snowboarding chose me” as opposed to the other way around, adding with a note of sadness “just like my disgusting face.”  The snowboarding sensation is a true inspiration, though, having risen to the height of his sport despite living with a heart problem.  That heart problem?  The inability to love his parents.

Car giant Toyota is stepping up efforts to do publicity damage control in the wake of their giant recall.  The company’s CEO has called for an “acceleration of efforts to restore public faith in their brand,” adding that the acceleration of these efforts should be “fast, but not so fast that we end up wrapped around a telephone pole only to come back to consciousness in a pool of our passengers blood.”

The guy who figure skates for the U.S. has complained about another figure skating guy criticizing him just after his big win in the Olympics.  Apparently Russian figure skating guy said that the U.S. figure skating guy didn’t deserve the medal because he didn’t attempt the customary “quadruple jump.”  American figure skating guy says it was a low blow to air such a personal criticism in the media when “he could have just told me last night in bed.”