The search continues for actor Andrew Koenig who was last seen in Vancouver days ago and has not been heard from since.  Koenig is best/only known for his portrayl of Boner on the show “Growing Pains.”  Police are searching for Boner in Vancouver, Los Angeles, and in pants.

U.S. Olympic snowboarder and presumed pot-enthusiast Shaun White told reporters recently that “snowboarding chose me” as opposed to the other way around, adding with a note of sadness “just like my disgusting face.”  The snowboarding sensation is a true inspiration, though, having risen to the height of his sport despite living with a heart problem.  That heart problem?  The inability to love his parents.

Car giant Toyota is stepping up efforts to do publicity damage control in the wake of their giant recall.  The company’s CEO has called for an “acceleration of efforts to restore public faith in their brand,” adding that the acceleration of these efforts should be “fast, but not so fast that we end up wrapped around a telephone pole only to come back to consciousness in a pool of our passengers blood.”

The guy who figure skates for the U.S. has complained about another figure skating guy criticizing him just after his big win in the Olympics.  Apparently Russian figure skating guy said that the U.S. figure skating guy didn’t deserve the medal because he didn’t attempt the customary “quadruple jump.”  American figure skating guy says it was a low blow to air such a personal criticism in the media when “he could have just told me last night in bed.”

Stop da presses, Yo, Perk dem ears –
We gotta Growin’ Pains problems, not da Wonder Years.
His names Andrew Koenig, but dats not da name you know
He’s that mother fucka Boner, from dat Kirk Cameron show.
Crashin’ in Vancouver, visitin’ homies –
Sportin’ that Boner but it ain’t for no “blow me’s.”
Kirk’s side kick never got on da plane –
But he’s saying dat he’s prayin’ repeatin’ God’s name.
All those Hail Marys ain’t brought him back yet –
Gettin’ nervous, like dat episode where he and DiCaprico met.
Now police be quotin’ Mr. Boner’s not dead –
But they worried just the same, ‘cause the long hair on his head.
Captain Kirk’s Chekov, is Boner’s sperm donor –
And he’s walkin’ in Canada, hopin’ to meet no coroner.
Remember Boner’s boner ain’t attached to “that” brain –
And all this missing, could just be more of those growin’ pains.