New Names for Death
Losing a loved one can be difficult and downright dreadful to describe to inquiring minds. We here at the lowbrow sophisticate understand this and have taken the time to develop new names for death, thus lessening the burden for the rest of you. So next time you have to tell someone that someone died, try one of these:
New Names for Death
2 Became a Third-Party President
3 Blew the Whistle
4 Boarding the Ferry
5 Bouncing the check
6 Burned the Christmas Goose
7 Catching it on the Fly
8 Caught it on the Tail
9 Chalked It Up to Experience
10 Changing Address
11 Changing the guard
12 Changing the Locks
13 Channelled Elvis
14 Chasing that big ol’ Coon Dog in the Sky
15 Checking your Mirrors
16 Chuggin the Hemlock
17 Clogged the Slide
18 Closed out
19 Closing the Gate
20 Couldn’t Stand the Light
21 Creepin
22 Cuttin the Crusts Off
23 Decided Not to Shower
24 Dialed 9 to get out
25 Didn’t Set His Alarm
26 Double Parked
27 Draining the Tub
28 Duckin out on the Bills
29 Eddied Out
30 Emptied Out the Fridge
31 Enlisted in the Red Army
32 Exercised without Stretching
33 Existing-Not
34 Failed Chemistry
35 Failed the Bar
Don’t worry. There’s more…