We here at the Lowbrow Sophisticate recently acquired grant and fellowship funds from a couple major literary think tanks. We had to present a proposal describing what it is we planned on doing with the money if we were to receive it, which we did. We all have burned out stars close to our hearts, actors, writers and performers whose light has dimmed over the years making our chest cavities feel cold and sleepy. Well, the Lowbrows are here to change all that.

With our grant and fellowship money, we have been able to resurrect some of these fallen heroes’ careers by coaching them ourselves and landing them a role of a lifetime and who better to start with than Mr. Edward Blatchford. That’s right. You may remember Ed in such powerful and moving films as Last of the Mohicans or when he played the helpful Sheriff to Jean Claude Van Damme in Nowhere to Run. But I think we can all agree that no role was more visceral and awe-inspiring than his portrayal of Mr. Belding’s younger, cooler brother, Rod Belding, in television’s Saved By The Bell.

Thank you, Edward Blatchford for touching our hearts for so many years. Here’s to you! We have been able to use our legally acquired funds to place Edward in the role of his life. He will be playing Janitor #2 in a new webisode of The Vampire Diaries, so keep your eyes peeled for the cooler, more-haired Belding brother in an internet episode near you in the winter of 2014!

When local, inner-city youth, Robin, starts stealing from the rich it seems to give the impression that he’s a hero giving to the poor. But then it turns out he’s just a thief.

Coming to theaters this Christmas!

Watch for these new films by Lowbrow Productions coming out between August 2010 and Floptobuary 2033

Turning Tricks: The heartwarming story of a 17 year old prostitute who finally cleans up her act and becomes a successful magician!

Number One & Number Two: The unlikely romantic tale of two Olympic long jumpers who were once rivals (placing first and second in their event) but are now lovers with a particular penchant for golden showers and scat.

Ghoul!!!  The story of a grotesque and destructive supernatural being who falls in love with the game of soccer, ultimately scoring the winning goal at the Word Cup.

Hole in Juan:  When golf enthusiast Juan realizes he’s a woman trapped in a man’s body he has the doctors turn his club into a hole.

And dont forget to check out our new television show coming to ABC in the new fall line up:

She’s in the city, She’s Single, She’s Young, Pretty AND a Lawyer … she’s PROSECUTEY! Thursdays at 1am.

When the local blind, deaf and mute girl goes on a bloody serial killing spree her parents bring in a teacher, Annie Skullivan, to calm their daughter down. What they didn’t expect was Skullivan to teach Helen how to hone her skills. Coming July, 2017. Rated NC-11.

water—waaa–a-a-a-a-t-e-r…. m-u-u-r-d-e-r

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