Begotten or sired (it is unclear precisely which) by a Protestant pastor and a physician’s assistant, Adam Bradford Ross was born into a small town in Ohio in 1979. From early on his religious upbringing would clash with his naturally skeptical disposition. Indeed, his adolescence was particularly affected by an inability to resolve the conundrum as to whether his real father was He who resided in Heaven or he who took a small, ranch-style house on Seminary Lane. The question was definitively resolved when his hair began to rapidly thin midway through undergraduate studies. The next eight years were filled with unwanted loves, unrequited lust, and hours and hours of sleep that somehow still leave one tired the next morning. Ross currently keeps apartments in Chicago and Dubai.