Before Ernest Hemmingway wrote The Sun Also Rises, he had completed an epic novel; a novel discovered early this year by scholars who maintain it is by far his best work. This rare find has been described as a truly flawless love story and quite possibly the most touching tale of love ever put on paper. The story follows a terminally ill woman who is admitted to a long – term care facility where she is cared for by a brilliant physician who not only nurtured her but also devoted his entire life to discovering a cure for the disease that was ravaging the woman he was falling in love with. The greatest literary minds gathered to discuss why this compelling and beautiful story was never published and none of them could find a flaw until the title page was discovered in a seperate box with an alternate beginning. You see, the illness the main character suffered from was a severe stomach infection with a common side effect mirroring that of dysentery and Ernest Hemmingway made a note that he would never budge on the title of the book and it is presumed that his insistance on the title is what most likely kept the book from getting published. The title of the truest and most inspiring love story ever put down on paper: The Pooping Flu.

Hemingway would become much more articulate when titling his later works.

Watch for these new films by Lowbrow Productions coming out between August 2010 and Floptobuary 2033

Turning Tricks: The heartwarming story of a 17 year old prostitute who finally cleans up her act and becomes a successful magician!

Number One & Number Two: The unlikely romantic tale of two Olympic long jumpers who were once rivals (placing first and second in their event) but are now lovers with a particular penchant for golden showers and scat.

Ghoul!!!  The story of a grotesque and destructive supernatural being who falls in love with the game of soccer, ultimately scoring the winning goal at the Word Cup.

Hole in Juan:  When golf enthusiast Juan realizes he’s a woman trapped in a man’s body he has the doctors turn his club into a hole.

And dont forget to check out our new television show coming to ABC in the new fall line up:

She’s in the city, She’s Single, She’s Young, Pretty AND a Lawyer … she’s PROSECUTEY! Thursdays at 1am.

See d.r. monroe perform a sideways set at Howie’s in ABQ on June 25th!

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kagyu108#p/a/u/0/aBPGB2ntexc

Due to the recent passing of celebrities like Gary “whatcha” Coleman and the slutty one from Golden Girls, we here at the Lowbrow Sophisticate find it cathartic to enhance the mourning process with inventive new terms to describe the journey our loved ones take when traveling to hell.

So if you’ve lost someone close to you, perhaps using these terms will soften the blow of reality:

Failed the Bar

Fell Off the branch

Fell to Pieces

Filled his Prescription

Finally Calmed Down

Finished their Book

Flew North

Flooded the Engine

Flyin’ First Class

Got it to go

Going the way of VHS

Got a divorce without paperwork

Got Called Up to the Majors

Got his Report Card

Got Sent to the Minors

Got Stiff in the Wrong Places

Got the Promotion He Deserved

Gritting His Teeth

Holding the Phone

Howled at the Moon

Jumped to the credits

Launched the Yacht

Layin’ Low

Leaving your coat on the rack

Left for Palestine

Left w/out Tipping

Locked the Hatchback

Lost some Weight

Lost His Footing

Lost His Pogs

1896 – Henry Ford made a successful pre-dawn test run of his horseless carriage, called a quadricycle, through the streets of Detroit. He later discovered he did not have to kill the horses that WOULD have drawn the carriage to “balance it all out.”

1942 – The Battle for Midway begins – pitting bearded women, dog faced boys, three-legged men and two- headed babies against each other.

1984 – Bruce Springsteen releases the album, “Born in the U.S.A.” Meanwhile, Rick Springsteen leased a “real bitchin’” IROC.

1992 – The U.S. Postal Service announced the results of a nationwide vote on the Elvis Presley stamp, saying the “younger Elvis” design won. The term “Younger Elvis” was agreed upon because it was “nicer” than their original term, “thinner Elvis.”

2003 – Martha Stewart stepped down as head of her media empire, hours after she was charged with obstruction of justice, conspiracy, securities fraud, lying to investigators and wearing white after Labor Day.

2009 – At the age of 72, actor David Carradine was found dead in a Bangkok hotel closet pantsless with a rope tied around his neck, dead due to a presumed failed attempt of autoerotic asphyxiation… or as they call it in Bangkok, “Natural Causes.”

When the local blind, deaf and mute girl goes on a bloody serial killing spree her parents bring in a teacher, Annie Skullivan, to calm their daughter down. What they didn’t expect was Skullivan to teach Helen how to hone her skills. Coming July, 2017. Rated NC-11.

water—waaa–a-a-a-a-t-e-r…. m-u-u-r-d-e-r

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From time to time we’d like to share some of the more intersting search terms that people have used to end up on our site to give you a little flavor of what our fans are like.  Todays highlighted search term is:

Bow Wow Genital Warts

Jack Grabber stripped off the last of his western clothes, picked the crisp, light, white Middle Eastern robe off the bed and slid it over his body before putting on the traditional headdress.  He could smell the myrrh that scented the cloth.  He inhaled it deeply; a satisfying scent that reminded him of the very first Christmas.  He walked to his full length mirror to see the results – It was a mixed bag;  the outfit was authentic for sure, but his skin was obviously too fair; fortunately his light hair was covered by the “towel.”  The robe was too short for his 6’5 inch frame, the bottom resting just below his knees.  “I wonder if they sometimes wear these as capris,” he thought. “I bet they do.”  He took some of his homemade fake tan compound that he had derived from the skin cells of darker foes he had defeated, it also included mayonnaise, sandalwood and the faintest hint of feces (amongst other throw-ins) and smeared it thick across all exposed patches of his white skin, being cautious not to rub it in, just kind of layered it on like cake makeup.  Next, he grabbed some dark, black hair from the loose hair bag that he kept next to the sink and stuck it onto his face where it clung to the excess fake-tan compound -  An improvised beard. Overall it looked pretty goddamn convincing.  Everything was in order.  He walked back into the bed room and climbed onto the double bed; pulled the sheets up to his eyes.  Beneath the sheets, the smell of the myrrh reached his nose more easily and was strengthened by the accompanying scent of memories.  The feel of the robe was taut against his tummy; his funny, contrived beard itched him as he lay cheek against pillow. He wouldn’t hear the footsteps leading to the flat this particular evening as Samir Gadot (his best friend and ex-Iraqi Guardsman) had been away on vacation for just under two days, but dressing up like this comforted Grabber in the moments when missing him kept him awake.  Perhaps this night he could sleep.